untitled

I don't think I'd like to be with him ever again. It is just not right and it doesn't feel right at all. I guess I don't love him anymore. It's now more of a pity towards him---at least that's what he's trying to make me feel. He's trying to appear hopeless so I'd take him back.

But I've done so much in my life right now. I've build up too much safeguards already so I don't fell in the same tricky trap again.

And I've had so much drama and family conflicts last year. I can't go through that again especially now when things are slowly getting better for us. And I just don't feel it is ever worth it to risk it all again.

But why oh why do I feel still feel bad about all this?

I can only do so much. I tried to be a friend to him and he can't accept that it's all I could offer for now. He doesn't care about how I feel at all. He doesn't even give a damn on making things right--for him, for me, for us.

I wish I have a friend right now. right beside me who help me mull things over, digest the reality in front of me and get through the pain.

I guess... I have someone...

I am not alone at all. God got my back.