:)

a memory from a not-so-distant past... that's Bryan.

I'll work through the ends of the world with you. Aerlowe.

silent mode :D

Today I went to church with my silent mode of a boyfriend. :D He was late and I had to wait for him at jollibee for the 9:45 am mass. And then we went home and cooked lunch together at my place.

It was nothing but a simple date. It was nothing but ordinary, just as he was nothing but just any guy. Yet he was everything at that specific moment.

I don't know. Everything seem to fall into it's right places when I'm with him. I feel so confident, so at ease, so happy, so uncertain yet assured. :D

Haay love it is. As I was saying, he was not at all my type. He's not the typical I'd go for but boy why do I always have this nagging feeling that we belong with each other'? ayyyeeeeh!

Just this morning I learned that his favorite number is 9. ayeeeh wala lang, pareha mi. I know it's silly but nakilig lang xad ko. hahaha

And he also meet my bestfriend Casey. Casey thinks that we got hitched too soon. But for me, it doesn't really matter. I've known him all my life. I know his parents, his siblings and he was my gradeschool classmate, highschool school mate. ANd he likes me, I like him. For that streching the courtship too long is irrelevant. :D

Haaay I know, this relationship also entails a lot of effort. I just wish that we can both work through it. :D

lowe :D

hmmm I am at work right now and for some reason my tummy won't stop getting all kilig!! waaah... i keep on remembering him. I keep on thinking about him.

As in, I could even last an hour just staring at the wall doing nothing but think of him! damn Aerlowe Relatorres.

I once wrote an entry about him on my diary two years ago. I met him at the bar and then we danced and hugged for like an eternity. It was such a sweet memory. I could still vividly remember how comfortably I leaned on his shoulder that time. How he just clipped his hands around me while he steaded me. How we were lost somewhere distant.

It was a sweet memory for me. I could even remember day dreaming about that hug the next day. whew!

Anyway, so fast forward..I somehow got him on my facebook friend's list. WE chatted and he asked for my number.

After a week I guess. he asked me out! hahaha

So we had our first ever date last tuesday. We ate at Fuente. Walked to Escario. And talked in IT Park. And then he walked he home.

And just like last night and the other night.. It was plain conversation. Like we're just good friends. Not a slight hint og flirting whatsoever. Not a single cheezy word! And I found it really cool.

So yesterday, he accompanied me process my TOR at school. And then we went to SM at Happy Herbs. And then we played at WOF. And then ate Zagu.

After that we went to Nikiban's place. He bought and cooked chicken not only for me but for the rest of the people there.

And yet again no flirting at all!

Haaaay I could only say so much! I am not sure what exactly is happenning to me. He is not at all interesting based on his hobbies, past experiences and interests. He doesn't play basketball that much! He doesn't travel! He doesn't even know how to play the guitar!!! But he's a Karate kid! hehehe

oh well, I guess it's too soon to lay all the cards on the table. We'll see where this thing could go.

draft

so I asked patsy to help me figure out the song with a lyrics that says "Cause I still love loving." And as usually, he was of no good at all. So i had to figure that out myself. hehe peace pats!

Anyway, in about 15 minutes, i remembered the song.. its Dream About You by Stevie B. and here are some excerpt of the entire lyrics:

Cause I still love, loving you.
How can I get you to see
That I'm falling apart
Since you've been gone,
I can never be sure
I could ever let go
Your love is much to strong,
There are somethings that I guess
I'll never know,
When you love someone
You got to learn to let them go.

Oh well, it's exactly what is happening to me right now. It's weird but yeah, for some odd reason I still think about my ex. And wish to fall inlove again with him.

You see, my life is going so well lately. Received a boquette of flowers and a cute stuffed toy and some sweets from an admirer. I have this online love affair. And a textmate.. and A very cute officemate who keep could always make my day sweeter that ever!

I mean, I can have a boyfriend in just what? a week? days? or even seconds!

But then, my heart is just so stupid to still think of him. damn!

shit

yeah, and that was another one hell of a night! I had so much fun that I immediately passed out the moment my head hit the bed.

well just an update, things got a little twisted lately. Last monday the last person I ever expected to see that night showed up from nowhere. As in, just when the vehicle was about to turn left i saw him. My ex. My oh sooo problematic and complicated ex. The ex that I obviously still loved. Yes, I do. And I get disappointed everytime he spills all the shit he's been carrying all these years. And I hate it, I hate that I wish I never went back to even be civil towards him and talk to him.

Now, he's bothering me again. Asking me too much than I am capable of giving. BS. I am so tired of it already. He asking too much that he's draining too much energy from me already. I know he needs me now, and that's all. He can't possible love me. He just don't show any sign of a person who's truly inlove.

One, he keeps on blackmailing me. He keeps on threathening me that he'll ruin his life if I don't come back to him. And that's just too frustrating! Why in the world is he such a loser a jerk!

Second, what was he thinking all this time? That he could just show up in the middle of the night and expect to welcome him with open arms? He's nuts! What does he really think of me? Am I sort of rug doll to him that he can play around and then toss in the corner just when he's tired of me and then pick me up and play with me again. another piece of crap!

If there's one thing I know right now is that. I want ALL or NOTHING! It's either he gives his best foot forward and show some effort in making our lives better, or he might as well leave me for good.

I am tired already. There is no way I'm going back to that shitty situation ever again! No amount of words could ever fool me again. Not a single promise right now is worth my time.

As again, I don't need words dude. I need result. Action.